For the love of Self

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Lately, I’ve been really hard on myself.  E is about to be 2 in November and I still carry some baby weight. I have stretch marks around my belly and even my belly button frowns at me in the mirror.

I read all these empowering blogs and Instagram accounts, but it’s always the negative comments that stick out.  I would like to think that people know genetics plays a role.  If your mom had them, you will most likely get them and no amount of creams or lotions will help.  None.  I lathered up on lotions Every. Night.while I was pregnant with E.  I worked out and ate right, but lo and behold, I got them in my eighth month.

So I started to get angry with myself, for allowing negativity to creep in.  For allowing myself to feel less than or anything other than beautiful.  I got angry of feeling sorry for myself.  Well, I choose to be happy and feel sexy. For me, I usually feel my best after a good run.  So, I started to eat better and workout 4-5 times a week (I run and lift weights).  I try to push myself to workout.  When I don’t want to, I run, usually that’s when I need it the most. It helps with my anxiety.  Endorphins!   I try not to focus on the numbers on the scale also.  Everyone knows muscle weighs more than fat, so the scale can be deceiving.  Now I wont lie and say I never do.  If I had a bad weekend, I like to see just how “bad” it was.  My main goal is to FEEL GOOD about myself and sprinkle that positive energy everywhere I go.

It isn’t just myself I think about when I workout.  I also stated to think about what I want to teach my son.  He sees my stretch marks when we play.  I point to my tummy and tell him that’s where he came from.  It’s a beautiful thing. I want E to remember Ephesians 4:2,3 daily: Be Patient, Be Gentle, Be Humble, Be Loving.  Not only to others, but with yourself.

I can’t control what others view as beautiful, but I can change the way I view myself inside and out.

 

 

PS – Luis is wonderful, he does tell me every day I’m gorgeous.  I’m the only one that can change the commentary in my head though.

X – Sara

 | please, no negative comments |

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