Lately, I’ve been really hard on myself. E is about to be 2 in November and I still carry some baby weight. I have stretch marks around my belly and even my belly button frowns at me in the mirror.
I read all these empowering blogs and Instagram accounts, but it’s always the negative comments that stick out. I would like to think that people know genetics plays a role. If your mom had them, you will most likely get them and no amount of creams or lotions will help. None. I lathered up on lotions Every. Night.while I was pregnant with E. I worked out and ate right, but lo and behold, I got them in my eighth month.
So I started to get angry with myself, for allowing negativity to creep in. For allowing myself to feel less than or anything other than beautiful. I got angry of feeling sorry for myself. Well, I choose to be happy and feel sexy. For me, I usually feel my best after a good run. So, I started to eat better and workout 4-5 times a week (I run and lift weights). I try to push myself to workout. When I don’t want to, I run, usually that’s when I need it the most. It helps with my anxiety. Endorphins! I try not to focus on the numbers on the scale also. Everyone knows muscle weighs more than fat, so the scale can be deceiving. Now I wont lie and say I never do. If I had a bad weekend, I like to see just how “bad” it was. My main goal is to FEEL GOOD about myself and sprinkle that positive energy everywhere I go.
It isn’t just myself I think about when I workout. I also stated to think about what I want to teach my son. He sees my stretch marks when we play. I point to my tummy and tell him that’s where he came from. It’s a beautiful thing. I want E to remember Ephesians 4:2,3 daily: Be Patient, Be Gentle, Be Humble, Be Loving. Not only to others, but with yourself.
I can’t control what others view as beautiful, but I can change the way I view myself inside and out.
PS – Luis is wonderful, he does tell me every day I’m gorgeous. I’m the only one that can change the commentary in my head though.
X – Sara
| please, no negative comments |